Eight Problems Aerialists have during the Holidays

Tis the season!  Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukah, Kwanza, or something else, the holidays have a strange way of affecting us.   Throughout the month of December, homes and offices are decorated with shiny balls and tree parts, party invites come in multiples, and the traditions of gift giving and overeating never seem far from our minds.  In addition to the usual stuff, aerialists may find themselves facing some unique problems during the holiday season. I’ve compiled a little collection of what those might be.

#1 The Music

Christmas songs might be insanely annoying, but you find yourself choreographing moves to them in your head anyway.  It’s just something we do with any music with dynamics that can be interpreted into drops, spins, and dramatic gestures.  If you’re anything like me, it can prove very difficult to restrain yourself from busting out into choreographic ideas in the middle of Christmas dinner — or any other holiday gathering.

#2 The Scrapes

Winter brings some relief from the display of bruises that often dot our thighs and calves because we usually find our legs covered.  However, I recently discovered a place on the back of my shoulder where I rubbed off a large patch of skin as a result of a new lyra sequence.   It’s in exactly the right spot where any sort of fancy party attire would prominently showcase it.   I’ve also recently discovered new ways to bruise my forearms…

#3 Dressing up

Speaking of fancy party attire, I’m reminded of the incident that prompted me to start writing this list.  Last December, I had a sparkly little outfit all picked out for a holiday party only to discover that I had cut the feet off of literally every single pair of tights I own, and it looks ridiculous to wear tights lacking feet with a pair of dress shoes. I had to buy some drug store pantyhose at the last minute.

#4  Making Cookies

A second incident last year revealed the extent to which aerial training influences my whole life.  I decided to make some Christmas cookies and did not consider my own strength when rolling out the dough.  When it came time to transfer the cutouts to the baking sheet, the cookies were entirely mashed into the table, not to be moved without a total scrape down and redo.  

#5  Explaining Leggings

I’m thankful that my family members show support for my aerial obsession by frequently gifting me leggings for the holidays. However, trying to articulate to non-aerialists all of the qualities that we look for in a pair of leggings can come off as rather ridiculous.  Exactly how slippery are they? (Finding proper leggings for aerial work requires a careful caressing of the fabric to evaluate its friction potential.) Is the material sufficiently compressive to avoid getting caught in tangled apparatus? Will the seams blow out if I roll my thigh around a metal bar a couple dozen times?  Do the graciously thing, thank your gifter, and wear those leggings for your living room yoga if they aren’t cut out for circus training.

#6  Mani Pedis

I’m sure plenty of aerialists manage to have pretty finger and toe nails, but personally, I’ve never met a polish that made it through more than a couple training sessions.  I prefer to think that aerialists better exude holiday charm through their strength and vitality rather than shiny nail lacquer, but many of you may fare better with the mani pedi’s than I.

#7 Photos

Holidays are a time for photos, which generally means posing next to people with normal sized arms. Anyone who’s been training aerial arts for more than a couple months will understand the discomfort that this scenario can bring.

#8 Missing the Studio

Holidays are a time to spend at home with loved ones, or frantically buying groceries for a feast and gifts for all the coworkers, neighbors and nieces.  Either way, many of our regular routines are put on hold for a little while.  Not being able to train can quickly spell distress for the vertically obsessed.  Sometimes we even get a little paranoid and start to worry that if we don’t do those hipkey rollups at least twice a week they will vanish forever.  Try to take some deep breaths and let that paranoia dissipate — you will roll up again!  And if you need another way to satisfy your circus cravings over the holiday, try locking yourself in grandma’s bathroom and popping a few handstands.  Just kidding… sort of.